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November 5, 1998

Break Out the Black Baloons!

I haven't thought about it much, although my friends bring it up quite a bit, but I am only about a week away from turning 40.

In some ways I still feel very young and in others I feel like I've already crammed too much in my life.

The other day I worked on linking my biography with various sites that I've been connected with over my life. I found it rather exhausting.

Each place starting with my birthplace of Keene, NH to where I grew up in Winchester, NH to my present employment with NBC Entertainment. Some I found rather easy, but each merited some reflection of what had happened there both positive and negative. It was like doing some massive examination of conscience.

I think I'm going to continue and add a few missing pieces.

The most difficult but at the same time interesting part of the puzzle was my search for Cakmakli, Turkey. I actually found several pages in Turkish that made allusions to it. Interestingly there was one page that I found that detailed where the United States has Nuclear Weapons stored both here and abroad. Cakmakli was on that list. I always thought that was top secret.

I also read the history of the embargo that had just been lifted when I arrived in Turkey. It greatly affected the way we were treated in Turkey and often people who had been in Turkey before the embargo did not have the same type of experience that I did. Now I understand why.

The College that I attended (actually I attended a number of colleges) and graduated from no longer exist. St. Meinrad College closed this year. The Graduate school still exists and I linked to that along with the Benedictine monastery that is there.

I had a difficult time linking to the graduate school I attended and taught at. I finally found an informational page about it, but it doesn't surprise me that the school itself doesn't have its own page.

The high school I taught at still has me (along with a host of other faculty that no longer teach there) listed as teaching there.

This morning as I was thinking about my life, I realized that I spent the first twenty years mostly in the northeast, the next twenty in the southeast. Now I'm heading out west. I also thought of a song "Amanda" that had been recorded both by Don Williams and Waylon Jennings. There is a line in the song, "Now I'm pushing 40 and still wearing jeans." As the line of the song ran through my head I realized that I seldom wear blue jeans anymore. There was a time that I seldom wore anything but.

I once wrote an essay (biographical) about the first twenty years of my life. It began with a reflection on the abandoned church across the street from where I grew up. It was the church I had been baptized in and it no longer existed. It was very symbolic of all the changes that the church had gone through.

Now nearing 40 the college I attended no longer exist and that has to be symbolic of something. The graduate school I attended and taught at has built a large fence around it that keeps outsiders out.

I wonder.

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